


Not Much of a Lady

by Anara_Muse



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Mrs. Norris is Married to Filch, Permanent Animagus Turning, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-11-22 03:15:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11371443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anara_Muse/pseuds/Anara_Muse
Summary: He missed his wife. There was no way around it. He prayed for his wife to be brought back to him, but to no avail. Luck wasn't feeling much like a lady after all...This is the story of Filch and why he's so bitter...and so obsessed with his cat.





	1. Rolling the Dice

**Author's Note:**

> Written for my non fangirly best friend. Beta'd by me. I'm getting better at that sort of stuff.

Rolling the Dice (Chapter One)

                He missed his wife. There was no way around it. She may not be the loveliest woman in the world, but to Argus Regus Filch, Roma Norris Filch was perfect. There were perfectly happy. They had three children; Regal, Vita and Mida. Life couldn’t have been more perfect.

                Then his children were accepted into Hogwarts. Yes, Argus was a squib, but Roma…well, Roma was an average witch. But it was enough, and all three went to Hogwarts. When their eldest, Regal, went off, the family went with her. Roma became the professor of the now discontinued ‘Culture and Tradition for Witches and Wizards’ class, and Argus was employed as Hogwart’s Caretaker. Twins Vita and Mida were over the moon about being in Hogwarts before they age elven.

                The year the Filches moved into the castle, the muggle musical _Guys and Dolls_ came out. Roma loved the entire thing, but most importantly the song “Luck be a Lady.” Argus hummed it whenever he particularly missed her, which was quite often. He could almost hear her now, singing it joyfully and loudly…

~*~

              “You might forget your manners, you might forget to stay. And so the best that I can do is…PRAY!”

              “Muuuum!” Regal complained. “We have to go! And _please_ don’t sing that on the Express! Or at Hogwarts.”

              “Or at all, you mean,” Argus said wryly. He was, obviously, quite younger then, and not as sour looking. Anger and bitterness made him ugly not long after, and that only embittered him further. “Regal, your mother is going to sing that song until she dies. Get used to it.”

              “Don’t be planning my death yet, dearie.” Roma said, kissing her husband on the cheek.

              “Never,” he vowed reverently, pulling her in for a proper embrace.

              “Ewww!” Regal whined as her younger sisters giggled. “Mum, Dad, do you really have to—”

              Her whining was cut off as the Hogwarts train whistle blew the warning, and suddenly the twins were being pulled forward as Argus and Roma were being pushed with them. “I am _not_ missing Hogwarts because of mushy parents and giggly sisters!” She grumbled.

             “Young lady,” Argus said sharply. “I know you’re excited, but that is no excuse for your behaviour.”

             “Sorry Mum. Sorry Dad,” Regal said, looking down shamefacedly.

             “It’s alright, sweetie. Let’s get on that train, hmm?” Roma said, looking down at her eldest daughter compassionately.

             They filed onto the Hogwarts Express at the last possible moment, and the train sped away to a “lifetime of adventure,” as Vita called it at first.

             “A lifetime of hell and torture,” was Mida’s correction not even six months later. And Argus agreed with her wholeheartedly.


	2. Snake Eyes

                    “Look, it’s Freaky Filch!” a Gryffindor student yelled, pointing at the admittedly oddly dressed Professor Roma Filch. She was, even Argus had to concede, a different teacher of sorts, barely taking or adding house points, and took to magically playing the soundtrack of _Guys and Dolls_ in every class she taught.

                    “I don’t believe in the house point system, dearie,” Roma had told him when Argus talked to her about it, not even two weeks into the school year. “They don’t help at all, only encouraging student sabotage. Why would I participate in something like that?”

                    So of course Argus conceded that point, and though he was allowed to after curfew, he never took points either.

                   Until that night. That horrid, terrifying night when two Gryffindors, a Hufflepuff, three Ravenclaws, and a Slytherin surprised the cooky professor and instead of sabotaging each other, turned on her. In a flurry of hushed and shouted spells and incantations, Roma Filch was gone, and in her place, purple smoke and a skinny tabby—Mrs. Norris—stood.

                  Argus had only heard the yelling and stalked towards the stupid students daring to be out after curfew, and fighting to boot. He stood in frozen shock as he stared at the Animagus form of his darling wife and snarled out, “One hundred points taken for attacking a professor. From each of you pathetic souls!”

                 “You can’t do that,” dared a surprisingly unwise Eagle.

                 “Go and look at the hourglasses and tell me who is winning and who is in negative points, then,” said Headmaster Dumbledore, walking towards the group, no twinkle in his eye this time. “But, before you do that, I suggest you return Professor Filch to her human form. _Now,”_ he added when no one moved a muscle.

                 Quickly, the Hufflepuff tried to pull out her wand, but an unusually rash Gryffindor stopped her. Argus couldn’t identify who any of the students were at the time. And he didn’t care. He could see his beloved sweetheart arch her back, a characteristic she always took when changing. She didn’t change this time.

                “We can’t. It’s permanent.” The foolhardy Gryffindor said.

                “Another fifty points from Gryffindor for lying, Mr. Quigley,” said Dumbledore gravely. “Miss Harvey,” he said, turning to the scared Hufflepuff, “What enchantments were used?”

                “I don’t know all of them,” she squeaked. “But one was the Irreversible Animagus Protection charm.”

Argus glared even more at the students. The Irreversible! How dare they? “That is only supposed to be used for emergencies,as it can be taken off by the caster and no one else,” he said, paling.

                “We can try and cast everything in reverse form,” one of the Ravenclaws suggested.

                “I suggest you do so, then,” said Dumbledore grimly.

~*~

               The seven students tried valiantly, if one could call it that—which Argus did not—all night long, trying to reverse their damage. Nothing worked. Professor Roma Filch, whom Argus bitterly called Mrs. Norris after that, even gave up trying to change, years later. Nothing anyone did, not even the potions Severus Snape made, helped. Mrs. Norris stayed a tabby cat until the end of her life, when she leapt in front of a stray killing curse to save her dear husband.

              Argus cried bitterly that day, and every night afterward, desperately singing “Luck be a lady tonight. Luck be a lady tonight…” Just wishing for death to take him, but for him, luck never seemed to be that much of a lady…


End file.
